Friday 26 November 2010

Panda Rally Riot

Animal Rights protestors storm 'Save the Panda' rally

Fervent animal rights group PETA stormed a peaceful 'save the Panda' event in America's Chicago Zoo, causing several injuries and expensive damage to property, horrified witnesses reported yesterday.
The group, led by Steven Fedora of Connecticut, infiltrated the peaceful event, organized to raise money to aid the endangered species, brandishing placards bearing messages such as 'PETA loves PANDA' and 'Who the f-k are you to tell Panda what to do?'
Fedora, in a statement released prior to the gatecrashing, said 'Pandas are an endangered species, and evolutionary evidence has clearly shown that that's just the way they like it. Pandas don't have sex and thus clearly want their species to die out. Who are we, as human beings, to deny that right to them? To urge people to "save the Panda" is to keep them alive against their will, which is bordering on fascism.'
Daniel Curran, deputy manager of the Chicago Zoo Endangered Species Programme, speaking after the carnage, said 'I thought PETA liked animals. Oh well.'
Fedora responded, 'PETA love animals. We are an animal rights group, we feel that no animal should be denied any right that they are entitled to. We smile when a Panda dies just as we smile when a tortured bull mauls a matador to death. Animals shouldn't be subdued by mankind. I've eaten Panda, its alright.'
PETA stormed the zoo, yelling 'let them have the right to die' as well as numerous profanities, physically attacking zoo keepers, visitors and at least one child. The Panda enclosure suffered severe damage and is now closed until further notice. No Pandas were harmed though.
Fedora said 'we feel the event may have taken a somewhat violent turn but we also feel that our voices were heard and our message was understood.'
PETA stage protests and events on regular occasions. An inquest is to be held with regards to the vandalism and injuries caused.