The Exploding of Jeremy and Jessica

One afternoon, Jeremy blew up. Not in the manner of a balloon, rather, he exploded. It was a horrendous mess, for his body was all over the room. His ear, to give you one example, was sliding slowly down the radiator, leaving a nasty trail. Luckily, Jeremy managed to pull himself together and shake it off. He was not one for complaining needlessly about things that can't be changed.

Later, Jeremy went for a walk because it was a nice day. He bumped into his friend Jessica. Jessica was pretty. She was a street artist when she had spare time and Jeremy liked that about her (and her).

Noticing Jeremy's manner, she asked 'Why do you look so dishevelled?'

'I just exploded' said Jeremy. But he felt okay really.

Jessica sighed and nodded slowly. 'So did I' she said. 'There must be something going around.' Jeremy and Jessica walked.

A brash, angry man, also called Jeremy as coincidence would have it, sat on a bench far away. He knew other Jeremy and hated him. He hated him so much that he could almost never think about anything else at all, which, if you think about it, is quite a serious matter.

He was drinking from a can of beer on this bench, which he really shouldn't have been doing because it was still daytime and he was all on his own and, of course, he was angry enough without beer. When he finished it he went home, ever angrier for having no more beer.

'It isn't fair' thought angry Jeremy to himself. 'Other Jeremy exploded but he's okay already and I'm still so sad.' This negative reflection only made him hate other Jeremy even more.

Other Jeremy went to a coffee shop so he could talk to Jessica all afternoon. It wasn't a big, scary coffee shop that looked like a hundred others, it was a nice little one owned by people who worked there and it was the only one that looked like it in the world. Jeremy sipped his coffee and thought about how easily it had suddenly become to talk to Jessica. Had his earlier exploding had something to do with it? Jeremy looked around the room at all the different people sitting on armchairs and benches talking to one another, and wondered how many of them had exploded that morning.

Jessica talked about her and her friends' art and could tell that Jeremy was really listening to her and not just waiting for the conversation to turn more personal. Jeremy enjoyed talking about graffiti with Jessica, even though she didn't like calling it graffiti.

Angry Jeremy got home and decided to call his friend Cassie. He couldn't remember how he had gotten Cassie's number, but he knew, somehow, that he shouldn't have had it.

Cassie answered. 'Erm... hello?'

Jeremy sighed. 'Hi Cassie' he said, gloomily.

'Oh, erm...' Cassie shuddered. 'I don't know if, erm, I should be talking with you.'

This made angry Jeremy sad, and angry. 'Oh, please' he groaned.

'Well, I don't know'.

Jeremy shouted and threw his mobile phone at the wall so hard that the sound hurt Cassie's ear. She gasped. Then she hung up too.

Other Jeremy hugged Jessica and she got on the bus. He went home and turned the television on and smiled.

A week passed and Jeremy decided to throw a barbecue party because the weather was still nice and he had a day off. It was such a nice day that even angry Jeremy came. Of course, Cassie being there was motivation enough with or without sunshine. Jessica felt a bit sad because she used to be a vegan. Other Jeremy's friend, who was very sure of himself and enjoyed talking about things he had done more than listening to stories about other people also came. He spent all afternoon flirting considerably with Jessica and Cassie's friend which was ultimately a vain effort because she hated men.

Cassie arrived and smiled nervously at angry Jeremy and when she turned away he got very angry and threw his sausage roll at the sky. Other Jeremy's cocky friend noticed this and told him to calm down, but angry Jeremy punched him so hard that he turned almost see-through.

Other Jeremy noticed the fight break out and rushed over to try and stop it all, but instead got punched as well and so a three-way, drunken fight ensued. Jeremy's cocky friend, who really loved Jeremy despite himself, tried to protect his friend and host against the brutal lashing of angry Jeremy, but got so badly hurt in the process that he disappeared completely.

Jessica, Cassie and their man-hating friend watched the event in horror. Cassie was so scared of the violence that she ran far, far away and was never seen again. Jessica was just disappointed and went home. This really upset Jeremy, who was usually so calm.

Days passed by and angry Jeremy was very sad and hadn't gone out in days. He sat in his lonely armchair drinking (whiskey, this time) and thought long and hard about how he would definitely never see Cassie again, all because of the fight at the barbecue.

The room was so big and bare that angry Jeremy felt tiny in it.

Angry Jeremy reached under his armchair and pulled out a gun that nobody knew he had. He took one big sip of whiskey and pointed the gun at his sad face. He took a deep breath and then disappeared forever.

* * *

Other Jeremy (now simply Jeremy) tried to apologise to Jessica many times, but her friend that hated men kept assuring her to stay away from him because he was violent really and not nice inside. She stood steadfastly by her advice for a long, long time. But after many occasions seeing Jeremy walk calmly by, getting on with his life and not feeling sorry for himself like angry Jeremy used to, and not insisting that he was in the right like their cocky friend used to, she began to understand a bit more.

One afternoon she accidentally found herself in a conversation with Jeremy.

'Hello, Jeremy' she said with some polite caution.

'Hello' replied Jeremy with a smile. 'How's Jessica?'

'She's just fine' said Jessica's friend. 'How are you?'

'I'm good' said Jeremy. 'It would be lovely to see Jessica again but if she'd rather not I will go on my way.' He smiled again. 'Hope you are well.' Then he waved and walked away.

After that conversation, Jessica's friend started to realise that Jeremy was most probably good for Jessica and began to think that not all men were horrible. Besides, all of Jeremy's bad friends were gone now anyway. Eventually she apologised to Jessica for interfering and went away.

Finally, after all their weaknesses and insecurities had died and gone away, Jeremy and Jessica were able to be together like they should have been in the first place. All they ever were from then on was happy.

For, you see, there really were only ever two characters in this story.