The Pubs of Jet Tea and Beyond

There are rather a lot of pubs featured in my fiction.  Most of them are real; a lot of them are places that are special to me for one reason or another and some of them are places I'd gladly never set foot in again for as long as I live.  Inspired partially by the film The World's End which I loved, and which features many pubs beloved to the protagonists due to its central premise, I have decided to do a run down of boozers that crop in the shared semi-fictional universe of The Life and Loves of Jet Tea and Oh, Vienna!  See it as a 'Good Bar Guide' of places to visit if you fancy killing eight cans of lager on the train ride over and getting your penis out while standing atop a table or attempting the 'Jet Tea Pub Crawl'
(not recommended).

The Crown and Treaty, Uxbridge

Referred to as simply 'The Treaty' in Jet Tea as that's how me and my friends and virtually everyone who drinks there refers to it.  The Treaty is a beloved place to me; it boasts some of the liveliest Friday nights I've ever enjoyed and I've been beaten up there more than once and barred countless times.  Thank God for the doorstaff's terrible memories.  It is all manner of places in one grey, ghostly looking structure.  Time was, every Friday I'd end up there until 3am and stagger back to Jet Tea's house with some shitty takeaway before passing out on his sofa or his sister's bed (sans sister, obviously).

The Three Tuns, Uxbridge
This is the pub Jet Tea and Hayden visit on a tamer evening and where Jet Tea falls into a trance while staring at the mental girl.  It's a nice old fashioned pub on the high street with low ceilings and a good beer garden.  I'd visit this pub first, as it's a good place for conversation and a sit down before the night takes a bit of a turn for the worse.

The Good Yarn, Uxbridge
The only J.D Whetherspoons pub I know of that actually has a queue to get in on a Friday and Saturday night.  The Good Yarn is where Niall the supposed wizard drinks, and where Jet Tea goes with his work colleagues.  It is also where he meets Craig, who ultimately attacks him outside for making snide comments.  If I wasn't an atheist I'd say it was Hell on Earth, or at least the gateway to it.  I really can't say anything nice about this place; it's an ugly building with a dark, ugly interior (it looks more like a post office than a pub), crap beer and a clientele made up almost exclusively of the biggest wankers, degenerates and violent thugs Uxbridge has to offer.  Go there if only through morbid curiosity, avoid like the plague otherwise.

The Open Mic in London Bridge/The Club in Dalston
Both of these places are completely fictional.  There may well be an open mic night somewhere in London Bridge and there's almost definitely at least one nightclub in Dalston but I had no specific place in mind when I wrote those chapters.

The Chandos, Charing Cross
This pub is not named in the book, but it is the place I had in mind when I wrote the chapter 'Jet Tea Fucks Up' .  It is the first pub they visit when they arrive drunk at Charing Cross moments after Hayden smashes that guy's face in with a golf club.  The Chandos is a large Samuel Smith's pub which means all of its products are from the Samuel Smith's brewery.  It's a nice place with good booths but since it's on Trafalgar Square it's almost always busy.

Baroosh, Uxbridge
The 'Posh Pub' where Hayden works is never referred to or described in depth, but seeing as Hayden is based on me and Baroosh is the poshest bar I've worked in, then by extension it is based here.  Baroosh is a high street bar catered towards office types and couples but is a cut above the likes of The Slug and Lettuce and All Bar One brands; it serves great food, great coffee and the service is always friendly.  As a former member of staff I've had many eventful lock-ins here.  Hayden doesn't like it much but don't take his word for it, he's a miserable cunt.

The Blue Posts, Chinatown/Soho
From the short story For Gillian, in La Rochelle.  Again, I don't refer to this pub by name but I had no other place in mind when I wrote that story.  Maurice and Jet Tea-absentee Walter Zane go here when they reunite following the former's stint in Berlin.  The Blue Posts is one of my favourite pubs in London; it's unique inside (there's a life-size bear made of grass), cozy and the staff are friendly.  There's loads of photos and quirky little trinkets stacked up behind the bar.  It doesn't feel like a Central London location, and that's why I love it.

The Chelsea, Vienna
An English-themed pub in the capital of Austria.  It is split into two rooms; the more traditional pub room and a live music venue at the back.  I don't remember much about it except that we made friends with the bartender because we liked the music he played and he kept giving us shots on the house.  The rest of that night is a blur although unfortunately Jet Tea reminded me what happened.  The slightly fictionalised version of events are detailed in the titular story from Oh, Vienna!
 
The Seaview Hotel, Birchington
Featured in my ghost story Bob's Bridge and also in my forthcoming novel The Creeping Seawall.  The Seaview is an old pub in the sleepy coastal village of Birchington.  It is slightly dank and stark inside but nonetheless friendly.  There's a disco on Fridays and a giant whale bone in the beer garden.  I think it's haunted but the jury's out on that one.

The Spice of Life, Soho
Saving the best for last.  The Spice is my home, and also the place where I wrote my novel.  I love the Spice with all my heart and sometimes, rarely, I wish it would burn to the ground.  For that I see it as something of a relative.  The Spice doesn't crop up in Jet Tea's world but it is implied to be the setting for my Sherlock Holmes story The Regular Customer.  It's a 50/50 blend of traditional English boozer and intimate music venue which serves a wide selection of beers.  The atmosphere and music are second to none for the area and it has the biggest outdoor seating area in Soho.  So it's a great place to be this time of year.  Chances are I'll be on either side of the bar if you ever want to pop in for a chat.