Ways in Which Opinions are Like Arseholes

Or, 'I See Where you are coming from, Goatse, but this is what I think.'

The mere exposure of one can outrage
If you side with someone else's, often someone will call you 'Gay'
They are more active when under the influence of alcohol, and less articulate
The more shit you willingly take in, the more shitty they become
Everyone has one, you'd be unable to function as a human being without one
People keep posting them on the internet and despite how much we are disgusted by them, we can't help but look
In certain cultures, displaying them can land you in prison
Using them for anything other than what is considered 'the norm' will raise an eyebrow or two
The overwhelming, media onslaught of those that differ from ours makes the less secure among us question whether ours is right
Expressing them in public can be embarrassing
We pay for magazines just so we can see them, then pretend that we don't
Bottling them up can be harmful
They begin as hereditary, but are fashioned by the environment as we pass through life
If you stick two fingers up to one, expect a violent reaction
Really look into one and you can learn a lot about that person
They are shaped and manipulated by the papers we purchase
A friend's can be really offensive, but if you ignore it the relationship can be sustained
The media has convinced us that we should cover them up
Sit on them for too long and they go numb
It is ill advised to keep them contained when you really need to let them loose
They can disrupt meetings
Expressing them in enclosed, crowded spaces can cause upset
Calling someone 'opinionated' is as offensive as calling them an 'arsehole'
If you keep prodding someone else's, you're probably a dick
If a loved one suddenly expresses one during an intimate moment, it may lead to an awkward conversation
If you dedicate yourself to the science of studying them, your career choice will be mocked
Writing long lists about them is childish and pointless

Ways in which they differ:
Nobody ever says 'thank you for your arsehole'